Where he can just BE
by narrizan
Summary: There are spaces Lavi likes to spend time in, where he can just BE. Part 16 of the 49 Days series on AO3. Brief mentions of some people.


Where He can just Be

Notes: Usual disclaimers apply, not for profit, for fun.

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There is, in the library at Black Order Headquarters, a corner which Lavi has claimed for himself. Sharing a room with Bookman, especially with Bookman, is not ideal, because sometimes he does need his solitude, his own space. So yes he has claimed territory in the library. He'd started to leave things on the table, more a large bureau than anything else. He was there so often and did not want to bother bringing his quills, pens and inks back and forth - so he's taken to having a set of writing materials for use in the library as well as at his desk in their room. So far he has not been turfed out. So he's happy with the arrangement and more to the point, no one is unhappy about it.

It is at the furthest corner, right in the back where the Order's oldest tomes and texts are, and really no one comes this deep within the library's recesses. There is a big bay window with a stained glass of Saint George in light armour and pale blue mail, red cross on his tabard and speared dragon at his feet. Lavi thinks of him as an early exorcist. Whilst fanciful an idea, it isn't too far fetched considering the Earl has been raging at the world for seven thousand years. He - and he doesn't want this to get about at all - even talks to Georgie sometimes. It is ironical that Georgie was one of his past personae so if it's akin to talking to himself, it is definitely not a good idea for that to get around. Heh.

Folk at the order know to find him here if he cannot be found anywhere else. He's been found slumped over the table, dozing and even in deep sleep sometimes. Too tired to drag himself to bed when it's been too late. If he can be bothered he might haul himself onto one of the chaise longue so he can stretch his legs. Lenalee draped a coverlet over him once and it's part of the furniture now.

He's not always there to catalogue and write reports, update his journals, pore over maps and read through manuscripts yellowed with age. It is the library, so his favourite pastime here is actually to read. Yuu once came in, possibly to try and get a rise out of him, so he could retaliate, just because. To his chagrin, Bookman Junior actually respects that they are in a library and refused to take the bait. Instead they sat in silence for at least ten minutes before - from the corner of his eye - he could see Yuu huff, fidget a bit and then take his leave. The next time Yuu comes, Lavi has to smile to himself at this, because the swordsman turns up with a book. While Lavi scratches ink across the paper, Yuu sits and reads. Well, Lavi is not actually sure about Yuu doing any real reading, but he does a good approximation of it. Maybe Yuu meditates and contemplates murder of half the general populace.

Johnny comes to play chess sometimes, although Go is more a Bookman's thing, really. Komui seeks refuge when he thinks that the rest of the Science Division will not think to look there but Reever knows his boss and eventually comes to drag him away.

Miranda reads in the library too. If she notices that Lavi is different here, she never remarks upon it. Interestingly, of all the people that come in here, he thinks they make good library partners in crime - for want of a better phrase. She probably finds the calm of the library lessens her anxiety. She's there for the solitude as well. There's nothing she can knock over if she is still and reading. Besides as someone who has survived an encounter with Road Kamelot, Miranda is deserving of his respect. He's noticed that her favourite book is Goethe's Die Leiden des jungen Werthers (The Sorrows of Young Werther). It isn't because the Black Order library has no other books in German, but he supposes it is because it is a love story of sorts with a tragic slant.

The Lavi in the library, is probably closer to who he is at his core. Lavi of course hides behind the fact that he is in A library and must to be quiet. The reality is that sometimes he likes being not-Lavi, in those quiet moments he can be reserved. When he can think, muse and not have to BE. Here he does not have to have a mask because the books can masquerade for him in a parade of reasons and excuses. He's not even sure why he is more comfortable being in his own skin here than in quarters he shares with Bookman who knows, knows him, whoever he is.

… and sometimes Bookman will come find him, Bookman will say "come on boy, get some proper sleep." Because Bookman knows, knows that Lavi-not-Lavi is finding it harder by the day to compartmentalise. Bookman needs to find a way to work round this and work with it because increasingly he, himself, he's coming round to the idea, coming to believe that this might not be a bad thing for his apprentice after all. As Bookman he is also still learning that sometimes he just has to let Junior be.

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Fin

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Notes: This is for posting date 15 August. So if it's your birthday Happy Birthday!

More Lavi centric musings, but that is the nature of the series of folk haven't guessed already. Mostly gen fic where really nothing of note happens at all, but I hope someone somewhere likes them anyways.

And really you are all wonderful, because you read. You are so loved - Zan

Part 16 of the 49 Days series


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